The Best Shaving Jokes to Chase Your Blues Away

The Best Shaving Jokes to Chase Your Blues Away

Naked Armor

When researchers said that laughter was the best medicine, they sure weren’t joking.

Published by Naked Armor

Laughing out aloud is good for the body and soul. That’s why we gotta have more of it during these times.

Here at Naked Armor, we welcome any excuse to laugh that’s why, unofficial as this may be, this week’s celebration of the International Day of Jokes is something that we totally endorse. Nothing beats a hearty laugh; it’s infectious and leaves everyone in a nice state of mind.

That’s why to commemorate the event, which happens to fall on the first day of July and the first day of the working week, we scrounged around ole reliable Google for the best jokes to start your day with.

And of course, since this is a shaving blog, we naturally picked the jokes that made fun of all things shaving. So here are ten of our favorite jokes that had us laughing to pieces.

1. There’s a reason why we always advise on practicing your straight razor skills

Joe was getting a shave from a rather inexperienced barber who nicked him several times. The barber, trying to smooth things over, asked, "May I wrap your head in a hot towel?"

"No, thanks," said Jim. "I'll just carry it home under my arm."

2. Because we can never get enough of hearing a close shave joke

Little Willie asked his mother: "Mamma, don't soldiers ever go to heaven?" "Of course they do!" protested his mother. "What makes you ask?" "There are so many soldiers with beards but I never saw any pictures of angels with beards." "Oh, that's because most men who go to Heaven get there by a close shave."

3. Even among animals, manscaping always requires delicacy

How do you shave a lion's ballsack?
***VERY*** Carefully.

4. When men of cloth go to the barber shop

A priest gets a haircut and a shave, and asks the barber "How much do i owe you?"

The barber says "For a man of the cloth like yourself, father, no charge"

The next morning when the barber opens the shop, he finds a bouquet of 12 flowers on his doorstep.

Later that day a buddhist monk is in getting his head shaved. "How much do i owe you?", asks the monk.

The barber replies, "For an enlightened man such as yourself, no charge"

The next morning when the barber comes to open the shop he finds 12 gems on his doorstep.

Later that day a rabbi comes in to get his beard lightly trimmed and a haircut. "How much do i owe you?" Asks the rabbi.

"For a man of god such as yourself, no charge" answered the barber.

The next morning when the barber comes to open the shop, he finds 12 rabbis on his doorstep.

5. We always love a good pun

What happens when Stevie Wonder tries to shave himself?

Stevie Nicks.

6. When your barber isn’t really keen on being hygienic

A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. “I have just the thing.” says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. “Just place this between your cheek and gum.”

The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few more strokes, the client asks in garbled speech, “And what if I swallow it?”

“No problem!” says the barber “Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does.”

7. In hindsight, this should probably qualify as TMI

During meditation, a monk asks his master… “Master. If a man shaves his ass, is he gay?”

His master thought for a moment and replied:

“A man who cleans his house, clearly expects a visitor.”

8. When in a game of one-upmanship…

Driving along the freeway, I overtook a female driver doing her make up in the mirror..

I was so shocked I dropped my razor in my coffee.

9. Another reason why you should always hone and strop

How do you piss off an emo?

Give them a dull razor.

10. And this is probably why you shouldn’t hit on Sweeney Todd’s wife

A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber's chair and said, "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine." The barber lathered his face and started stropping the straight razor while a very busty woman knelt down and began to shine his shoes.

The cowboy said, "Young lady, you and I should go and spend some time in a hotel room."

She replied, "I'm married and my husband wouldn't like that."

The cowboy said, "Tell him you're working overtime and I'll pay you the difference."

She said, "You tell him. He is the one shaving you."

Getting a straight razor is no laughing matter though. You need to have a high-end, durable razor that’s going to give you an awesome shaving experience.

Here at Naked Armor, our straight razors are made from high quality Japanese stainless steel that’s guaranteed to be as sharp as a master samurai’s katana. Our shaving kits, meanwhile, are made from organic and natural materials, and come in elegant boxes that will be the envy of anybody.

If you want to experience the luxury of shaving in the comfort of your home, try the Naked Armor experience. Check out our stuff right here.

Some Naked Armor Essential Reads


History of Shaving + Infographic
A Guide to Beard Grooming {Infographic}
Why Straight Razor Shave Is Better

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